Quotidian Hell 
 
Look what The Internet hath brought us today...
26 May 2005

Eat HuFu
The Healthy Human Flesh Alternative!

The taste and texture of HufuTM are the result of painstaking research and extensive testing in our kitchens. We are supremely confident that our food products would satisfy the tastes of even the most demanding cannibal.

24 May 2005

Another example of science pursuing the bleeding obvious:
Physicists uncover Eurovision biases

"This is arguably the only major international forum in which a given country can express its opinion about another, free of economic or governmental bias," the researchers say. They argue that a systematic pattern in voting can be revealing and have analysed vote networks between 1992 and 2003. Each country represents a point in the network, and links between them are forged when one country awards points to another.

Statistically, these networks turn out to be far from random: some countries form cliques that tend to vote in the same way and for each other. This is most evident for Greece and Cyprus, but the Nordic countries also tend to operate a block vote.
Personally I find the occasional aberrations more amusing. Ukraine's attempt to make this year's contest a celebration of the Orange Revolution cost them the nine or eleven votes they'd usually expect to get from Russia - what I liked was how the Russians managed to give Ukraine one vote, just to rub it in.

16 May 2005

Galloway versus Paxton

Galloway: The Industrial Mix
(Don't panic, it's not really 45 minutes long.)

Gosh I'm easily amused.

12 May 2005

Just got the two:

Hiding Alarm Clock
When the alarm clock goes off and the snooze button is pressed, Clocky will roll off the bedside table and wheel away, bumping mindlessly into objects on the floor until it eventually finds a spot to rest. Minutes later, when the alarm sounds again, the sleeper must get up out of bed and search for Clocky. This ensures that the person is fully awake before turning it off. Small wheels that are concealed by Clocky's shag enable it to move and reposition itself, and an internal processor helps it find a new hiding spot every day.
The Art of Science

5 May 2005


4 May 2005

An April First story we missed.
There has been a small outbreak of “zombism” in a small town near the border of Laos in North-Eastern Cambodia.

The culprit was discovered to be mosquitoes native to that region carrying a new strain of Malaria which thus far has a 100 percent mortality rate and kills victims in fewer than 2 days.

After death, this parasite is able to restart the heart of its victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believed to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”

Cambodian officials say that the outbreak has been contained and the public has no need to worry.
Also -
666 the number of the beast
Hell and fire was spawned to be released
Erm, apparently not.
A newly discovered fragment of the oldest surviving copy of the New Testament indicates that, as far as the Antichrist goes, theologians, scholars, heavy metal groups, and television evangelists have got the wrong number. Instead of 666, it's actually the far less ominous 616...

Professor David Parker, Professor of New Testament Textual Criticism and Paleography at the University of Birmingham, thinks that 616, although less memorable than 666, is the original. He said: "This is an example of gematria, where numbers are based on the numerical values of letters in people's names. Early Christians would use numbers to hide the identity of people who they were attacking: 616 refers to the Emperor Caligula."
Pffft. Eggheads, whadda they know?

See you at the Time Travellers' Convention.

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