Given there have been no contributions of any note from my fellow hellions (or, as I like to refer to them, "those tossers"), I guess I'll have to struggle on alone. Circuit_freak brings this to my attention: a weekly compendium of remarks overheard on the London Underground. The one for Mayday is particularly amusing (well, more amusing than the next week's, as I've only read two of them so far):

1. Picasso used to pay for meals by signing the napkins in restaurants.
2. I think perhaps I will die on the London Underground.
3. Oh, we've had a lovely time. Jamie's spent the morning kicking pigeons.
4. My apple turnover is dry and flaky.
5. I'm sick of men.
6. You are the only one who doesn't make fun of me.
7. I miss Saint Etienne.
8. Tomorrow I get my ears syringed...I know I won't sleep tonight.
9. Thursday is named after Thor, the Norse God of Thunder. I used to read the comic.
10. Beckham's moving to Milan. Trust me.

Ah, London, hive of the profound. I have no idea what that means.