In line with my colleague's attempt to raise the intellectual tone around here with bleak, soul-sapping aphorisms, here is a report on my three-day weekend, composed entirely in haikus:

Chatty busdriver
amuses English tourists
who don't know better.

Dreary Saturday.
Hang my sheets and towels to dry.
What an achievement.

At barbecue with
married friends with kids and lives.
Get me a beer NOW.

Damn monsteria -
its fronds obstruct my washing.
I'll rip your leaves off.

Actually I had a fine, sober time at the BBQ, but thought I'd affect a mood of enervated desperation for comic effect. Not that that's any of your business, disinterested voyeur of others' anguish that you are.