Fair and Balanced

FoxNews is suing satirist Al Franken to prevent him using the slogan "Fair and Balanced" as a subtitle to his new book, apparently because they don't want people assuming Franken is connected with the channel, "Fair and Balanced" being a description that people automatically associate with FoxNews.

Wow, can you make coffee come out of your nose like that all the time?

Anyway, the usual suspects have called for a cyber protest of leviathan dimensions, and as we at Quotidian Hell are nothing if not joiners, what can we do but play our small part?

Given that a mass website usage of "Fair and Balanced" will help stymie FoxNew's attempt to retain proprietary control of the phrase, as a service to those redoubtable newshounds and their quest to make our world a better America, I suggest the following alternatives, all of which I'm sure are public domain.

FoxNews: The Magic Kingdom

FoxNews: Resistance is futile

FoxNews: Roachs check in, they don't check out

FoxNews: Because life's complicated enough

FoxNews: I can't believe I ate the whole thing!

FoxNews: Ugly is only skin-deep

FoxNews: It's everywhere you want to be

FoxNews: It never varies

FoxNews: Corn and cluck for a buck

FoxNews: Enter a different World

FoxNews: I'd rather have a bowl of Coco Pops

FoxNews: If I've only one life, let me live it as a blonde!

That oughta hold 'em.


So, I'm going to be away for three weeks (don't sneer, you'll notice) so this place will likely be reverting to "howling wasteland" mode given the enervated anomie of my fellow hellions. But you never know, maybe you'll get lucky and our erudite colleague will explain his formula for successfully living an unexamined life. Play nice now!