Happy Saturnalia to All Our Reader(s)

'Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la la la la la.

Yes, 'tis. Don't give me that look.

My colleague provides the following links, but is too busy with "other projects" to post them himself. People with lives - what egotists.

First up, the one you've all seen:

What a Crappy Present

CDs make Bad Gifts for Kids!

Someone who feels close to you is worried, and sending this email was the only way they knew how to reach out. So please, in the spirit of the holiday season, take just a few moments to reflect on whether or not you're planning to give a crappy present to a loved one.

And here's some examples of why you should:

Show and Tell Music

Hello and welcome to Show and Tell, a site that serves as sort of an orphanage for thrift store music and album cover art.

Pip Pip the Naughty Chicken

Here's a cute little Happy Home series 45 telling the story of Pip Pip, a young chicken who wouldn't obey.

And ends up burning in Hell for all Eternity with Satan and all of Satan's disciples.

It's cute.

Sound Effects - U.S. Air Force Firepower

Here's an entire album's worth of bombs exploding, jet planes zooming, big guns blasting, etc. All proudly presented by the U.S. Air Force.

These paltry examples give little indication of the glorious treasure trove on offer. The man who compiled this site is a saint, and should be remembered in all your prayers. If nothing else, the wide variety of Christian records featured reminds us why we should proudly celebrate the true spirit of this festive season, the multimillenia-old pagan tradition commemorating the Winter Solstice, rather than give up our trees, gifts, feasting and drunken revels for the drab and misdated anniversary of some obscure, johnny-come-lately Judean sect. Speaking of which:

A Very Scary Solstice

In 1988 the H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society published its first collection of holiday songs rewritten to include the dark forces lurking at the boundaries of perception. This year we expanded the collection to a full twenty-five numbers.

This isn't one of them. This is one of mine.

Weird sounds ring, are you listening?
In the pit, skin is glistening.
A mind-searing sight,
we're raving tonight,
crawling in a howling fractured land.

Happy Holidays, you slithering terrors!